You're not sorry
by WobblyJelly
Summary: After the OWL incident, Lily will never forgive Snape again... My first songfic, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!  song is You're not sorry by Taylor Swift.


**Disclaimer: yeah, I don't own Harry Potter…. Blah blah blah….. You know the rest.**

* * *

You're not sorry- Taylor Swift

**All this time I was wasting  
Hoping you would come around  
I've been giving out chances every time  
and all you do is let me down**

Lily ran up the stairs towards the Gryffindor common room, praying that no one would follow her there. Tears were flowing down her cheeks after she heard what he had just said…..

"_Take the curse off him, then!" she had yelled._

_Potter sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter curse._

"_There you go," he said as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"_

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

And after everything she had done for him…. He couldn't be damned the slightest…..

* * *

**And it's taking me this long  
Baby but I figured you out**

_Lily blinked._

"_Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother you in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."_

"Pomengrates," Lily said to the Fat Lady, who noticed something was definitely wrong with her and let her in.

"Lily, are you okay?" Mary approached her uncertainly. Lily just shook her head.

* * *

**And you're thinking we'll be fine again  
But not this time around**

"Lily." Mary handed her shaken friend a mug of steaming hot chocolate. "You might not like this, but….. Snape is waiting for you outside the Gryffindor common room."

"I don't want to see him," said Lily coldly.

Mary nodded and went out.

About five minutes later, she came back in, bringing Lily some grave news. "Lily, he says he really needs to talk to you badly, and he'll sleep there if he needs to."

Lily sighed. She put down her hot chocolate and stomped out of the common room. As soon as Snape saw her, he began to speak:

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole, sealing the end of their friendship. Lily could feel her heart break inside, as the part that use to be reserved for Snape fell apart, and was never to be collected ever again.

* * *

**You don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
this is the last straw  
don't wanna hurt anymore**

Snape walked away, as heartbroken as Lily. He mentally kicked himself for being so daft and stupid. _Why? Why did he have to go and say that stupid word? You are a bloody asshole, Severus Snape._

He walked back to the Slytherin common room, his head down, remembering what Lily had just told him….

"_I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."_

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"_

"_Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"_

_He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking._

"_I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

* * *

_

**And you can say that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did before**

Snape still remembered what is was like when they were young, before they came to Hogwarts, the time he told her she was a wizard…..

"_You're….you're a witch," whispered Snape._

_She looked affronted._

"_That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"_

_Petunia's laughter was like cold water._

"_I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lil, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. "Why have you been spying on us?"_

"_Haven't been spying,' said Snape, hot and uncomfortable and dirty-haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway," he added spitefully, "you're a Muggle."_

_Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, she could hardly mistake the tone._

"_Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly. Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Snape as she left. And Snape was left there with bitter disappointment, because everything had all gone wrong…..

* * *

_

**You're not sorry, no, no, no, no**

"_But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

Lily wished she didn't have to say those words; those words she knows were true. She wanted to be different; she wanted Snape to treat her as a true _friend,_ but obviously after today's statement that was clearly impossible.

"Mary," she called to her friend, who had been reading a book. She looked up. "Yeah?"

"Where did you get the hot chocolate?" she asked. "I certainly know they don't server it in the great hall…."

Mary smiled. "James asked me to give it to you just now, after he came out from the kitchens. He says you'd need it most right now."

* * *

**Looking so innocent  
I might believe you if I didn't know**

James was standing in the boys' dormitory, frustrated. He didn't know what to do. Okay, he knew what he _wanted _to do. He wanted to go up to Snape, curse him for eternity for saying that to Evans, and then go check to see if she was alright.

He couldn't believe that _git._ You'd think that after Lily put up with him after so long he'd be grateful, but he _had_ to call her that. Repeating- Git.

He could tell Lily really cared about Snape, no matter how much he hated it. He knew it when he overheard their conversation two years ago in the castle courtyard...

_James Potter was just lazing around in the courtyard, daydreaming about Lily when he heard voices._

"…_.thought we're supposed to be friends?" a voice was saying. "Best friends?"_

_James whipped around and saw Lily and –god forbid- Snivellus walking and arguing in a very frustrated way._

"_We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging out with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D' you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"_

_They walked away, but James followed them. He found them and hid behind a pillar. However, it seemed that he had missed most of the conversation._

"…_..I don't need you to tell me that. But what Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can't be friends with them."_

_And with that, the two of them walked away, leaving James there hiding behind the pillar, wondering why he couldn't hear anything anymore.

* * *

_

**Could've loved you all my life  
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold**

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

"…_. Filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

"… _Mudbloods like her!"_

Lily kept rethinking this line over and over again as tears streamed down her cheeks. _There's no doubt about it,_ she thought. _He's one of them. He's chosen his way, I've chosen mine. And there's no point denying it._ But the more she thought about it, the heavier her sobbing would get.

* * *

**And you got your share of secrets  
And I'm tired of being last to know**

Snape was still punishing himself for the earlier events. Why hadn't he said something? If would've been a lot better instead of just standing there, stammering, apologizing, and keeping quiet when there were secrets he just could not spill.

Meanwhile, James was _also_ punishing himself for _earlier events_ as well. Why did he have to be a complete prat? Why couldn't he just be a man and leave Snape alone? If not for him, none of this would've happened…..

He wanted to apologize, but he knew better than to go and get Evans riled up. She _was_ mad at him, after all…..

* * *

**And now you're asking me to listen  
Cause it's worked each time before**

Lily could think of a thousand things she had done for Snape… for instance, she had stood up for him in front of Petunia, she had put up with many of his Death Eater friends, she even stood up for him in front of Potter! When everyone was around, wondering why would she ever help a Slytherin, thoroughly humiliating herself…..

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I'm not interested."  
_

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Save your breath."_

There was no point persuading her….. The damage was done now…

* * *

**But you don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
This is the last straw  
Don't wanna hurt anymore  
**

Lily wrapped her arms around her legs and continued to sob. Mary watched her sadly.

Time slowly elapsed. One by one, people started returning to their dormitories, patting Lily on the back or soothing her, telling her it's all right.

But nothing could ever be alright anymore. The pain Lily felt was cutting through her chest, slowly reaching her heart.

* * *

**And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did before  
You're not sorry, no, no, oh  
You're not sorry, no, no, oh**

Remus and Peter climbed through and stared at Lily in shock. They had never seen Lily completely worked up like this. Her eyes were red and swollen; her cheeks were puffy, like she had been crying for a thousand nights. Remus approached her.

"Don't say anything," Lily told them flatly. "I will never believe him…. I will never forgive him for this."

Remus merely shook his head. "No Lily, I just… Do you blame James for this?"

Lily hesitated for a moment. "…..No."

* * *

**You had me going for you honey**

**And it never would've gone away, no.**

Scenes of Lily past childhood with Snape passed through her mind. The time when she trusted Snape so much…. The time he had been her only friend….

"_It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"_

"_It's real for us," said Snape. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."_

"_Really?" whispered Lily._

"_Definitely," said Snape, and even with his poorly cut hair and his odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny._

"_And will it really come by owl?" Lily whispered._

"_Normally," said Snape. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents."_

"_Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"_

_Snape hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair._

"_No," he said. "It doesn't make a difference."

* * *

_

**You used to shine so brightly**

**But I watched all of it fade**

_He turned red again and shredded more leaves. Then a small rustling noise behind Harry made him turn: Petunia, hiding behind a tree, had lost her footing._

"_Tuney!" said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet._

"_Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d' you want?"_

_Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Harry could see her struggling for something hurtful to say._

"_What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she said, pointing at Snape's chest. "Your mom's blouse?"_

_There was a crack: a branch over Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed: the branch caught Petunia on the shoulder and she staggered backwards and burst into tears._

"_Tuney!"_

_But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape._

"_Did you make that happen?"_

"_No." He looked both defiant and scared._

"_You did!" She was backing away from him. "You did! You hurt her!"_

_And you hurt me,_ Lily thought, her head muffled in a cushion.

It was almost midnight and nearly everyone had gone to bed. Mary watched her sympathetically.

"Do you want to go to bed?" she asked. Lily shook her head. Mary rubbed her back soothingly for a moment before making her way back to the dormitory.

* * *

**But you don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
**

"_Lily." Mary handed her shaken friend a mug of steaming hot chocolate. "You might not like this, but….. Snape is waiting for you outside the Gryffindor common room."_

"_I don't want to see him," said Lily coldly._

_What was the point of seeing him, if it was just going to cut her more? What was the point of seeing him, if there was nothing left to beg for?

* * *

_

**This is the last straw  
There's nothing left to beg for**

James couldn't sleep. His mates, Remus, Sirius and Peter, were already snoring away, peacefully in dreamland. They had planned revenge on Snape tomorrow, but James was still feeling restless.

They shouldn't get revenge on Snape; they should get revenge on _him_. He deserved it…. This whole bloody fight was his whole bloody fault…..

Frustrated, he grabbed his invisibility cloak, some butterbeer and made his way to the common room.

* * *

**And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did before  
You're not sorry, no, no, oh  
**

Lily didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay there and try to grasp back that little part of Snape, to try to mend her heart together, but she knew that it was useless. She got up, making her way towards the girl dormitories, when she staggered and fell back onto the couch, her head spinning.

Tears swelled up and she started to cry again, crying for her friendship, crying for Snape.

"Lily," someone said behind her. She turned and found James Potter there, watching her with agonized eyes. She nodded, and James approached her, wrapping his arms around her and cradled her on his chest, kissing her hair. Lily continued to cry, but she know that no matter how many tears she cried, they could never bring back the friendship she had, the big, emotional step in her life.

* * *

**You're not sorry, no, no, oh  
**

And that's how she fell asleep, in James Potter's arms. And it didn't really matter to James that she had soaked her shirt, or that she was crying over his arch enemy, or that he won't be able to return to the boys' dormitory. All he cared about was for Lily to feel okay again.

**Next day, Transfiguration**

"James," Lily said to the unusually quiet boy beside her.

He turned. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for last night," she whispered. "You…really helped me."

He smiled. "No problem, Lily. Anything for you."

And he meant it, he really did. He would do _anything_ to help Lily Evans, to help heal her broken heart.

Two tables away, Sirius and Peter were staring at them in shock.

"Are they actually having….a civilized conversation?" Sirius asked in horror.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, a very strange ending for this kind of story, but I wanted to lighten the mood =) So did it work?**

**this is my first attempt at a songfic, so please READ AND REVIEW. I have another idea for another songfic, but I'll only decide to write it if I get REVIEWS! SO PEOPLE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW EVEN IF YOU HATE IT DEARLY!**

**If I wasn't clear before, REVIEW!**

**Reviews are appreciated =P  
**


End file.
